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The Scotsman


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written by Mike Cross 1979, copyright Vic Ray Publishing (ASCAP) This is a great song to hear - buy it online - First prize

The Scotsman

A Scotsman clad in kilt left a bar one evening fair
 And one could tell by how he walked he'd drunk more than his share
 He stumbled on until he could no longer keep his feet
 Then staggered off into the grass to sleep, beside the street
 A ring-di-diddle-e-di do, a-ring-di-diddle-i-day
He staggered off into the grass to sleep beside the street.)

                           *(For all choruses, the last line will be the last line of the verse)
 A pair of young and lovely girls just happened to come by
 And one said to the other, with a twinkle in her eye:
 "You see yon sleeping Scotsman, so strong and handsome built..
 I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the kilt?"
 They crept upon the sleeping Scotsman, quiet as could be,
 And lifted up his kilt above the waist, so they could see..
 And there, behold, for them to view, beneath his Scottish skirt
 T'was nothing but what God has graced him with upon his birth!
 They marveled for a moment, then one said: "We'd best be gone.
 But let's leave a present for our friend before we move along!"
 So as a gift, they left a blue silk ribbon, tied into a bow,
 Around the Bonnie Star the Scottish kilt did lift and show!
 The Scotsman woke to Nature's Call, and stumbled towards a tree
 Behind the bush, he lifts his kilt, and gawks at what he sees!
 Then, in a startled voice he says to what's before his eyes:
 "I don't know where you've been, my lad, but I see you won First Prize!"